I am a mom and a human being too! So #MujheSabNahiPata
Someone wise once rightly said, “It’s not easy being a mother if it were easy, fathers would do it.” Giving birth is a wonderful and exquisite experience in every woman ’s life. It is a great feeling which can’t be expressed in mere words. But with great things come great responsibilities. As a mother, we are always expected to be prepared and be responsible for everything. To be honest, being a mom is so much more than I ever envisioned and comes with a sharp learning curve, that changes with every phase of the child’s life.
Recently, I was invited for an event organized by All Out, for a fantastic discussion around the societal conditioning of mothers being omniscient and how there is a need for them to say #MujheSabNahiPata. I was lucky enough to share a bloggers panel with successful Bollywood actor and mother Sonali Bendre, Child Psychologist, Dr. Rupa Patel, Pediatrician Dr. Samir Dalwai, and Ruchita Dhar Shah, founder of the First Moms Club (FMC), a Facebook community for mothers.
The aim was to discuss the constant pressure on the mothers to know everything about their child’s well-being and how it has discouraged them from asking for help, for fear of judgment. The discussion commenced with Sonali and Ruchita, addressing the hardships of nurturing a baby and the eternal struggle as well as the pressure to be a know- it -all mommy.
All through the event and the conversations, I felt at ease that I am not alone in this ordeal. Listening to strong, empowering and beautiful moms in the audience speak on this topic was therapeutic. Every mother, irrespective of their career, face the challenge of being “invariably excellent” and fear of making mistakes. I am a mother and not a pantomath. I make blunders and I learn from them. But our society never gives us a chance to make mistakes and shames us if we do. While the burden of bearing the responsibilities of motherhood are manageable as we love our children, it is the burden of knowing it all that becomes unendurable.
I am a lecturer, blogger, and a full – time mommy to a 6-year-old girl named Angel. I still reminisce about the time when I held her in my arms for the first time after she was born – a magnificent moment of my life. I didn’t know then, that a tiny creature would add such dynamism to my life and take me on this thrilling ride of motherhood.
Thanks to the doctors and the internet, for guiding me through a lot of things, involving the nutrition and mental development of the child. But no one never told me how to be an ideal mommy. I was constantly transitioning between my job and the struggles of being a new mother, with the addition of sleepless nights and a hell lot of stress. I had to stay awake for the whole night to take care of my baby, which meant a loss of prior freedoms and a lot of adjustments. I am not grumbling because I know that’s a part and parcel of being a mom.
Speaking of my own #MujheSabNahiPata story, I remember when my little munchkin was just a year old and had started walking barefoot. One day, she fell off and suffered bruises on her knees and elbows. My husband and I immediately picked her up and gave her the required medication. But my husband was panicking more than me. He was really stressed and anxious about the incident and went ballistic and called me ignorant for not taking enough care of her.
I acquiesced that it was all my fault and I should be held accountable for the incident. But later on, after gaining composure, my husband supported me and apologized for his behavior. He asked me to stop feeling guilty and reasoned that it is not possible to control every situation in life. Some things just happen, and the mothers need to let go of their guilt At the event as well, all the mothers broke free of the societal shackles and tied a knot in their attires, as a reminder to share their #MujheSabNahiPata experiences.
Similarly, in a world of constantly emerging threats, it is impractical to guard your child against every situation, though as mothers, we always strive to do our best for the child. But while we are focusing on the million things for their well-being, small factors like a mosquito bite can result in dengue and get overlooked.
I am thankful to All out for addressing this issue by capturing one such #MujheSabNahiPata story in a moving video. I encourage all you moms out there to leave the fear behind and tie a knot in your attires, to remember to share your stories in the comments section, as well. It’s time to move above social norms and unite to help each other become more vigilant about the well-being of our children.